Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

Kelly Oxford is a wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds, not the queen of the world, but an underage schnitzel-house dishwasher who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush.

She's a born salesman capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20, that girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time, and totally an expert on strep throat.

Despite being incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend, Kelly is also a writer and certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes.

This product summary highlights Kelly's unique personality traits and talents, showcasing her as a multi-faceted individual with a quirky sense of humor.